Kurt Sutter Understands Me

There is a recent trend in blogging - being blatantly rude, but truthful about everyone. And everything that annoys you. It started for me with Moms Who Drink and Swear and blossomed into a collection of about seven blogs that I follow.

And then the bug hit me. I wanted a part of the action so badly. People bug me too! I never tell people what I REALLY think. And posting how I really feel on the Internet would be so therapeutic! Besides, I could be anonymous, right? Who knows? Maybe under a pseudonym, I'll get the recognition I desire.

And then, I got the recognition I desired, and it wasn't pretty.

For the first time ever, a stranger stumbled upon one of my blogs via Google. And this particular stranger was NOT happy with the particular post he stumbled across. He then proceeded to tell 150 of his closest friends what I had said.

Finally, after writing for 23 years about my thoughts, feelings, and opinions, finally some stranger saw my writing - and told all his friends. And even left comments! Unfortunately, the piece they stumbled upon was not my finest work...I was so heartbroken...

I feel like I got dragged down into this negative place, but I don't want to reside there anymore. This incident with my blog post broke my heart, but it snapped me back into my own reality. I'm not snarky, sassy, hurtful or disrespectful. I try, but I am more naturally kind, compassionate, considerate, sensitive, caring and so much more simultaneously.

And then today I read a recent blog posting from Kurt Sutter, the genius behind Sons of Anarchy. And truly, it sums up exactly where my head was at.

I'm exhausted by my own self-righteousness. Really. I have so many fucking opinions that feel so weighty and so relevant to the future of mankind, that I realized I'm just a fucking delusional downer. I know that sounds extreme and I don't regret anything I've said, but lately I've become very aware that my angry outbursts serve no purpose other than to relieve some small amount of pressure from my obsessive need to be understood. And by understood, I mean loved, worshiped and adored. I'm not a dick. Okay, not all the time. For the most part, I'm a fairly reasonable dude, but when I take a hit off of any fucking injustice pipe, man, I am fucking hooked on a feeling. High on believing, that you're in love with me. Ouga Chaka.

Articles on HubPages

I have been writing in a journal ever since I was a in third grade. I have always enjoyed writing. In high school, that writing bug blossomed from horrible attempts at fiction, to commentary - non-fiction pieces that (hopefully) provide some insight about something you care about.

Back in the MySpace days, I wrote my first ever "blog." Chris and I were breaking up after six weeks of falling in love...

Over the next three years, I wrote occassionally. (Like five days later when Chris and I got back together!) Nothing consistent, and nothing ground-breaking. But at the same time, I wrote blogs that caused people to feel what I felt, learn what I learned and see what I saw. A lot of those Myspace blogs are difficult for me to read, because they are very emotion-filled about MY life. I can still see myself sitting at the computer crying about whatever, and writing my little heart out.

But, I saved them. I moved them to Blogger, because I figured I wouldn't be visiting MySpace much. Thus, in August 2009, the blog "Exercises in Writing" was born. I had always intended to write more, to write better, but sometimes life gets in the way. (See Our Two-Wheeled Adventure and Elementary Escapades for evidence!)

The same month, I stumbled upon HubPages.com. This website intends to be a source of information (like Wiki), but a writer's community, and at the same time a portal for blogs. Make no mistake, I have no ideas of grandeur about my writing "career." I write for me, I write for you, and if a stranger happens upon it - and learns something, sweet.

I more than likely will never write the book I always wanted to. I more than likely will never be a journalist. I more than likely will never be a world-renowned blogger. I'm okay with that :) I'm a wife, a stay-at-home-parent, a biker, a Christian, a daughter, a really great bargain hunter and a friend. Isn't that enough?!

So, all that to tell you that there are some articles I wrote on HubPages, that I think are pretty gosh darn awesome. Unfortunately, they did not get read much. I'll post them here for you to read at your leisure ;)

I hope you have an awesome day.

My favorite Hub articles:

America: Land of the Free?
Barack Obama: Nobel Laureate 2009
Gavin Newsom and Keith Bardwell: Heroes or Villains?

And finally, the article I wrote yesterday:
Voting Dress Code First Step in Restoring Respect

Random Ramblings

It isn't very often I take to my blog to ramble, but my cat and my back refuse to let me sleep, and I obviously don't feel like cleaning, so here I sit at the computer.

I'm really tired of not seeing the sunrise. Every morning for like two or three weeks has been cloudy. It's annoying. Thankfully, I live in East County, so the sun does make an appearance every day. If it didn't, I would probably have started a riot by now.

My friend Tina started a blog. You should check it out. She writes Letters to God on a pretty regular basis. She has definitely impacted me with her blog! Encouragement is the best motivation for writing - please leave her a comment if she impacts you :)

October is apparently Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and I have been racking my brain for 15 days to try to figure out how to say something in a non-offensive way. And then, I was on PostSecret yesterday and found the answer...

I am not a breast cancer survivor, so please forgive me if I sound insensitive, but isn't everyone in America already aware of breast cancer?
Over the weekend, I saw the NFL covered in pink. Last night, I was at grocery store and the employees were wearing pink. Almost every shelf had at least one product that was making a donation to breast cancer research...All I could think was, why aren't the guys lobbying so furious for prostate cancer research? Why do the women who have breast cancer get all the glory? There are a billion different kinds of cancers, why is breast cancer so "trendy" and everyone else hangs out in the shadows? Why isn't October "Cancer Survivors" month or something like that?

And another thing, I am not normally a consipiracy theorist, but seriously...shouldn't there already be a cure for cancer?!! Billions (maybe even trillions) of dollars have been funneled into the "industry" and the best they have come up with in 50 or so years is to lob off our breasts?! Gimme a break. Somebody, somewhere is making money off this whole thing, and it isn't the survivors (or the deceased)!

Chris joined a motorcycle club :) I am super duper proud of him, and excited for him, and really glad to have met all the people from the Royal Aces of San Diego!

My pregnancy is going really well. Except for when I try to sleep, I am never sick or even uncomfortable. Chris, I think, is having a really great time too. Except he's a little bitter that I refuse to find out the sex of the baby! Hey, listen, I have to give birth, I get to call SOME shots! I do not want to know beforehand, and so, he can't know either. No one knows except God and my Muffin. (Even though we're like 95% sure it's a boy.)

The first couple months were a little rough...I quit smoking, I almost quit caffeine, and I had to quit my depression medicine. Needless to say, I was an emotional wreck! Thankfully, my husband was willing to work with me and we survived! Now, honestly, I can't stop laughing. My therapist (whom I still see every week) says that it is entirely possible that I won't need that medicine anymore. (It won't even be an option until I'm done nursing, so it could be like a year from now that we'll have to make that choice.)

Did I tell you my BFF had her baby? Yea, Gavin. September 14th. He's adorable! She sends me pictures all the time. I sure wish I could hold him! It's been a lot of fun talking to her the past four weeks about life with a baby. I've learned a lot from her (like always).

Alright, that's enough rambling. I'm going to try to sleep a little. Have a blessed day!!

Found the Honolulu Harley store :)


Check out why I care on Our Two-Wheeled Adventure blog.

OMG it's Hollister!!