Fathers

I might have written about fathers a time or two...

An Old Journal Writing

Speaking of Old Friends...

A Girl Needs Her Daddy

Nature vs. Nurture

My Love

Yesterday was the four-year anniversary of the day I met my husband. It is also the anniversary of the day the Supreme Court said that it could not be deemed illegal for two different races to marry.

I've always found it beautifully coincidental that my husband and I met on Loving Day.

Tonight, my husband and I were separated by the military for the first time in our four years together. I know that I am greatly blessed to have been a military wife for so long and not have to suffer long deployments, repeated deployments and worse(like the majority of military wives).

However, that fact doesn't make it any easier to say "Good-bye" for the first time.



Enjoy this blog? Look for others of similar topic:

No Joke
Ramblings of My Love
Cherish
My Man

Wednesday

Having my mom here has been a HUGE blessing thus far (as I KNEW it would be).

Her flight arrived 10 minutes early on Wednesday June 9. YAY! More time with my mom!

I took her to see the view from Harbor Island. I pointed out Point Loma (Cabrillo National Park), Naval Air Station North Island, the Coronado Bridge and downtown.
We proceeded south on Harbor Drive. I pointed out the Embarcadero area with the Hornblowers, the cruise ships and the Star of India. I pointed out the Midway museum and described the Aircraft Memorial Park.

As we continued down Harbor Drive, I told her a little about Seaport Village and the Gaslamp District. I showed her the Convention Center where Comic-Con is held and bragged about the grassy knoll in Petco Park.

We drove south on Harbor Drive until we reached the end of the ships docked at the 32nd Street Naval Base.

As we were driving home on the 54 East, I saw a coyote running down the side of the road.

Then, as we rounded the curve left to the 125 North, I pointed out the untouchable Sweetwater Dam and my mountain and then we saw a brush fire burning on what I think is Dictionary Hill. As we got closer to our exit, she excitedly proclaimed, “Oh! There’s your street!”

Once we got onto Jamacha Boulevard, we could see and hear the helicopters travelling to the Reservoir, picking up buckets of water and then dropping them on the fire.
I had previously told my mom that Brytin and I spent time Tuesday afternoon decorating the front of the house with American flags. First, because Brytin LOVES American flags, second because I wanted my house cute and welcoming for my momma and third because my husband is going out to sea very soon and I want to support him in his mission.

As we neared Space 116, my mom says, “Oh! Look at how nicely they decorated their house!” And then I pulled into the carport. In total shock she says, “Oh! This is YOUR house!” We both got a pretty good laugh out of that!

I showed her around the yard. My husband has done such a WONDERFUL job making our yard a place I truly love to be. It was a pleasure to share it with my mother.

Then, I had to get started inputting bullying surveys for Loma. I had approximately 30 that needed to be completed in an hour.

With a very slim margin, Mom and I were able to get them done :)

We then raced to the school to pick up Brytin. I was so excited for my mom and my son to finally meet!!

We had to go to the grocery store to pick up a few items for my infamous ham glaze. Mom, of course, had a wonderful time spoiling Brytin with treats – ice cream, bologna, Skittles and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. She spoiled me a little too
:)

Then we went home to start cooking. And cook we did! I made the ham and Mom made her infamous tuna salad. We talked and laughed the whole time. Brytin watched Scooby-Doo and completed his homework and practiced his celebration songs and got to know my mom. He decided to call her Mrs. L.

Just as Brytin finished his homework, Chris came home. It’s always a fun moment between Brytin and I when we hear Betty roaring up the street. It’s a moment of happiness, excitement and genuine love for the number one man in our lives.

Mom paused her arduous task of making me a double batch of tuna salad so she could see Chris’s bike in person. Until James came rumbling up the road, I had completely forgotten it was Wednesday – Aces night. Mom, James, Chris and I hung out for about ten minutes before the guys blazed off for Santee. Mom admired Chris’s fender and his handgrips. She also liked the oil lines on James’ Rocker.

Mom and Brytin played some catch with a foam ball in his room. To which he responded, “I love it when you are here!” Mom convinced him to brush his teeth. And Brytin and I showed off our art work.

Around 9, I brought his mattress out to the living room so he could lie on the floor, next to mom on the couch, and we could all watch Scooby-Doo together. Brytin, of course, insisted that she sit on the floor next to him so he could snuggle up next to her. I then started boiling potatoes for mashed potatoes.

Around 10:30, Chris and James returned. I hadn’t received a warning that they were on their way, so I hadn’t completed the mashed potatoes, started boiling the corn on the cob or sliced the ham. Thankfully, the guys were patient while mom and I raced around the kitchen finishing up the meal we had prepared. It was delicious!

After all the dishes were in the kitchen, the guys talked about club business and mom and I collapsed on the couch. I turned on the TV for the first time all day and we were treated to “Dirty Dancing.”

It was an exhausting day, but one of the greatest days of 2010!

Flower Gardens

I have a vegetable garden I keep with Brytin. My flowers, on the other hand, are strictly for me. They are nothing fancy (petunias, mostly), but I love them. I get excited every time a new flower grows. My flower garden also gives me an opportunity to practice my non-photography skills.






I have some peonies and dianthus left over from last fall.



I'm praying that the gerbera will bloom for my mom's visit.


I'm still waiting for a calla lily to bloom this year.



I call this my "spoon" daisy.


Today, however, I noticed what seems to be a flower growing on our zucchini! This may not be news to any of you who have previously grown food, but I found it to be a beautifully delight!

blah blah blah

I have so much to write about, but at the same time, I have nothing to write about. I try to write meaningful posts and I try to remember that this is not a personal diary.

I read an article about another marriage book. The article was an interview of the authors, and had something I wanted to share with you. Unfortunately my husband threw away the article. LMAO

I will be spending some time in Minnesota this summer because my husband is being sent out to sea for six weeks and my son is going to Missouri.

We got a puppy.

My mom will be here in seven days!!!

Finally, a Respectable Response!

As I logged onto my computer this morning, the headline on Drudge was a photo of Mr. Obama with the quote, "Plug the damn hole!"

With excited anticipation, I quickly clicked the link. I was taken to a Reuters article that was long and boring, but I skimmed anyway hoping for that key phrase.

Why? Because I was hoping and praying that "Plug the damn hole" was truly the reaction of our President to the needless, endless debacle in the Gulf Coast. That is EXACTLY the kind of response I am looking for. Anger, frustration, real, and demanding. That is exactly how I think the President of the United States of America handles a crisis. With fortitude. With vigor. With power. And with an occasional curse word.

Buried deep in the article, the phrase finally showed. Obviously, the writer had no idea the significance the quote. But there it was. A phrase that Obama has apparently spoken to aides in recent days...I love it!

Grammar Problems

Similar to borrow/loan, many confuse the use of bring/take.

Both bring and take have numerous meanings.

One can, for example, take medicine, take the Fifth, take a liking to, take it on the chin, take a partner, take in a stray, take up for a friend, take out a date, and take an oath.

One can bring to bear, bring tears to the eyes, bring something up, and challenge someone to bring it on.

The OED entry for take lists 93 numbered definitions. The one for bring has 27 numbered definitions. The definition that concerns us here is Number One:

bring: 1. To cause to come along with oneself; to fetch. It includes ‘lead’ or ‘conduct’ (F. amener) as well as ‘carry’ (F. apporter); it implies motion towards the place where the speaker or auditor is, or is supposed to be, being in sense the causal of come; motion in the opposite direction is expressed by take (Fr. emmener, emporter).

When the words are used to express the conveying of something or someone to or from a given point, the choice between bring and take is clear:

If the person or thing is going away from where you are, use take. If the object or person is coming to where you are, use bring.

Some examples of the correct use of bring and take:

I’m taking this blender back to the store.
I’m taking my girlfriend to the movies.
Please bring your wife to the party.
Don’t forget to bring me that book next time you visit.

Jacquelyn Landis has also written a DWT post on “bring” and “take” for DWT.

Just Another Sunday

I apologize if I didn't talk to you on Mother's Day. There are a million amazing women in my life that all deserve a flower, a hug, a smile, a phone call and a diamond bracelet for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, I spent most of yesterday trying to avoid the whole dam thing...

Friday I received from Brytin the projects he made at school for Mother's Day. One was a paragraph he wrote that says, "I like my mom because she is pretty and she picks me up at school everyday."

Saturday, I was thinking about how much MORE Mother's Day means to me this year. I was thinking about all the sacrifices mothers, stepmothers, adoptive mothers, and stand-in mothers make. I was thinking about the drive and dedication it takes to be a good, effective and loving mother (and primary caregiver). I was thinking about every Mother's Day prior when I didn't really understand how important it is to celebrate the women in our lives that have impacted us, that have helped shape us, and that have made sure we had a shoulder to cry on, a friend to laugh with, and a ear to listen.

At bar closing time Saturday night, I had a wonderful moment with my husband. We were dancing, and then he looked down at me and whispered "Happy Mother's Day." I was ecstatic. He remembered! He cared! He appreciates me and all that I have done for him and his son the past year!

Unfortunately, that was the full extent of my Mother's Day celebration. And as I told my husband as he laid down to sleep Sunday night, I don't take care of Brytin for accolades, but accolades every once in a while are a really nice thing. I really had hoped to just hear my husband say, "Thank you."

No Joke

One year ago today, my husband almost died. He was cooking dinner - broiling steaks, boiling rice. He was working the overnight shift, so he was planning to eat dinner with Brytin and me and then go to sleep for a little while before going in to work...

And then he started to feel weird. He said there was a weird feeling in his chest. He tried to lay down, but that it made his chest actually hurt. He said it felt constricted, and he could only take shallow breaths.

He tried to walk it off, but then said, "I think I need to go to the hospital."

Chris, Brytin and I piled in the Escape. I used the navigation on my phone to find the nearest hospital. I did my best to reassure Brytin that his daddy was going to be fine. I did my best to encourage Chris that he really would be fine. I flew through red lights. I drove way too fast around corners until we finally arrived at the hospital over by Grossmont mall.

Unfortunately, at that time, Grossmont was doing some sort of construction and it took a really long time to find the emergency room. It was a very stressful situation. We didn't know what was going on, I couldn't cry because Brytin was with me, and Chris couldn't breathe.

It was the worst April Fool's Day of my life.

Obviously, my husband survived :D His left lung had spontaneously collapsed. Apparently, tall skinny guys are susceptible to spontaneous lung collapse. Their chest cavities are too small for their lungs and the air pressure gets off kilter and it collapses. Nothing he did caused it. There is nothing he can do to prevent it. Having it happen once doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again, but it might.

I write about this today, because it's heavy on my mind. My husband is once again working overnights this week. He's been taking the truck instead of his motorcycle, so if something were to happen, I wouldn't have a vehicle to do anything...

I know that worrying won't solve any problem, but I adore my husband so much...losing him would be the worst thing that could ever possibly happen to me.

I'm sure he'll be fine, and we'll laugh about this next week, but tonight, when he leaves for work at 11 pm, I will definitely say an extra prayer. And then I will spend the night playing Farmville to calm my nerves :)

Communication With the Dead?

I haven't thought much about communication with the afterlife, honestly. But I had something happen to me last night that really makes me wonder.

My husband is working overnights this week,so I have been staying up far too late into the wee hours playing Farmville, writing, reading, watching television,etc.

Last night, around 3 am or so, I was farming and I was trying to finish up my notes on John 4. I think I kept falling asleep at the computer, though. Farmville has been running very slow this week, so it isn't too far-fetched to think I might doze off while waiting for something to load.

At some point, I realized I was sleeping and went and laid down on the couch. (I don't sleep in my bed without my husband.)

So this morning, around 8ish, my husband wakes me and we chit-chat until he falls asleep. I go sit at the computer to enjoy a cup of coffee and play some Farmville. I look at my notebook to see where I left off with John 4, and the last thing written is:

"Rudy didn't get a chance to say goodbye and he holds a lot of animosity for that."

What the???

So I reread some of the other notes on the page to see if they are all weird, and nope, they are legitimate notes from my study of John 4.

In case you didn't know, there is no mention of a "Rudy" in the Bible; especially not in John 4.

I actually know a gentleman named Rudy who has passed on, and we DIDN'T get to say good-bye. Would he really have animosity? I don't think so, but 80+ year-old men are funny like that...

It seems to me that I received a message in my sleeping stupor and wrote it down.

A few more things to note:
1. I do not at all remember writing this note.
2.The writing is in my exact penmanship - not sloppy from being written by a sleeping person.
3. I was watching the Cosby show around 1:30 am, and Rudy was the focus of the episode, so maybe it was just some weird combination of sleep, Bible study, and the Cosby show?

Like I said, I haven't thought much about communication with the dead, so any thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated.

The Bible Truly is an Amazing Book

Thanks to an old friend, I recently started studying the book of John again (see Broussard's Bible Blog). Part of that study, requires me to go through some very old notebooks that I wrote notes in while studying. I received a HUGE blessing this weekend as I read an old entry...

12-19-2002
For so many years, I refused Your Masterhood, but now I rejoice in it. I couldn't deal with Your perfection, but now Your perfection brings me pure joy. Your love is unconditional, Your judgment is justice and your salvation is free. "Your judgment is justice," though it may seem crazy, that is my favorite part about You. You will not plea bargain. I know that the verdict in my case is the only thing in this world that is fair, unbiased. I can hold onto that with my dear life! I can take that to the bank! I can bet my bottom dollar! Lord, I know most people do not get so excited over judgment, but I just feel like your fairness is something I can depend on in a world that is truly unfair.

I've been told many times throughout my decade as a Christian that the Bible is a "magical" book that always applies to my life. Even if I reread the same passage, on two different days, the passage will somehow apply.

The above excerpt was written over seven years ago. I actually remember the circumstances surrounding that particular joy I was feeling that day.

And yet, today, seven years later, the same principle applies, but in an entirely different manner. I can once again rejoice in God's fair judgment. I can once again take solace in the perfection of God, and chose to allow HIM to provide due punishment. I can wash my hands of the worry and fret and stress that I have suffered the last year for another's crime and bank on God having the final say. PTL for His great and mighty blessings.

Farmville, Anyone?

I took a break from blogging (obviously). I’ve missed it greatly; writing is very therapeutic, enlightening and gratifying for me. I had to take a break, though, because the issues I have had in 2010 are not my own to write about…It’s one thing for me to air my dirty laundry all over the World Wide Web, but it would be disrespectful for me to publish my feelings regarding other people’s issues…

January was tough for Chris and me. Just a cyclic relationship-growing period, I think. Nothing was wrong, but nothing was right. I think that the high of December created an equal but opposite low January. Thankfully, we pulled out of the funk.

February was tough for me. There were a lot of “anniversaries” of negative things in February that just made the month a difficult one for me. With the help of my caring mother, my wise friends, my awesome husband and my oh-so-amazing therapist, I came out of that silly little month with an excellent attitude, and March came in like a sweet innocent fluffy little lamb.

Of course, as it always does, March has reared its ugly lion head and once again life is stressful. Anyone who is friends with me on Facebook has seen that over the past couple months I have become EXCESSIVELY addicted to a fun game called Farmville. Do you know why I play that game non-stop? I have a few theories.

Theory #1:
Because the trying circumstances that surround me are uncontrollable by me, my “fixing” energy is spent making one hell of an amazing farm.

Theory #2:
No matter how I approach the trying circumstances that surround me, I am often painted as the “bad guy.” However, in Farmville, I am a VERY successful, multi-million dollar farmer. Therefore, living in this alternate reality allows me to feel successful even though some may see me as a total waste of space.

Theory #3:
Because I am such an awesome individual – giving, caring, selfless, intelligent, compassionate, etc etc etc, I subconsciously feel entitled to do whatever in the hell I want. My family still eats, my stepson still makes it to school, my friends still know I love them, and the kindergarten class at Loma Elementary still get all their worksheets, so who cares if I spend hours every day farming a make-believe land of 10,000 chickens?

Theory #4:
I am still that pathetic poser I was in high school that longs to be liked and so when I felt pressured by my friend to play, I caved.

So, you ask, what is the point of these theories? Will I stop playing once I figure out WHY I play? Probably not. But it does help me understand why every time I feel even slightly stressed I start thinking about what seeds I want to plant next.

Just Real Quick

I would like to point out that a Republican victory in the Massachuesetts Senate race does NOT mean that the country has suddenly decided that Republicans have the superior ideals.

What it does mean is that there is definitely restlessness in the people of America. There is a desire to make change, mixed with a general feeling like the changes being made are not necessarily in the best interest of the people.

Now is NOT the time for Republicans to gloat. Now IS the time for Republicans to listen.

Read what electee Scott Brown had to say.

Obama Wants More Money For War

Though the title of the attached article states that Obama wants $708 billion for war, that is not true. The $708 billion is the entire department of defense budget.

The budget for the department of defense for 2010 is approximately $533 billion. This figure covers salaries, training, and health care of uniformed and civilian personnel, maintains arms, equipment and facilities, funds operations, and develops and buys new equipment. The budget funds all branches of the U.S. military: Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps, and Coast Guard.

In addition to the defense budget, the "overseas contingency operations" budget for 2010 was about $146 billion.

And now, Obama is asking for an additional $33 billion for the wars.

Not to be all condescending, but I thought liberals wanted to pull chocks on the Middle East?

I am NOT implying that I think spending money on a war is futile. I'd MUCH rather spend money on war than national healthcare, government bailouts and whatever other asinine things Obama spent my taxes on in 2009.

I do, however, have concerns about the continuously increasing government spending. My understanding is that our spending is solely funded by our taxes. In personal finances, if your spending exceeds your income, you need to increase your income or decrease your spending. The US Govt is obviously not decreasing their spending, so apparently they are going to need to raise our taxes.

In addition to my thoughts on increased spending, I am confused by Obama's choice to increase spending on the wars. Again, I am not saying the money isn't needed, I am just trying to understand how he expects to improve his approval rating by continuing to make choices that the majority of Americans do not agree with.

Considering that the Democratic Majority is on the line right now with the late Ted Kennedy's seat, you would think that Obama would be trying to please Americans rather than continue in his "I'm the Messiah and I'll do as I damn please" mentality...

I'm sorry if you, my loving devoted reader, are confused as to why I am debating the spending of money on war when I actually agree with spending on war. I apologize if I am not able to clearly articulate my thoughts. I saw the headline this morning and immediately thought, "Huh. That's weird. I thought Obama was supposed to end the war."

The Relationship Triangle

I learned recently about a small little thing called the "Relationship Triangle."

Apparently, the three key elements to a relationship are:

Hope
Faith
Trust

Hope is having the energy to do things when I do not have trust or faith.

Faith being a mental decision to believe.

Trust is a goal, an outcome. Trust is the absence of conscious thought – I do not have to think about it. Trust is NOT something I can MAKE happen. (I.E. I trust that the sun will rise every single day in the East.)

Without these three elements that support each other (when one is weak, the others are strong), a relationship cannot be healthy, it cannot survive and it definitely will not be fun.