Wednesday, December 1, 2010

People-Pleaser Checklist

Ever wondered if you are a people-pleaser? I found this people-pleaser checklist in "Be Happy Without Being Perfect" by Alice Domar.

1. I should always do what others want, expect or need from me.

2. I should take care of everyone around me whether they ask for help or not.

3. I should always listen to everyone's problems and try my best to solve them.

4. I should always be nice and never hurt anyone's feelings.

5. I should always put other people first, before me.

6. I should never say no to anyone who needs or requests something of me.

7. I should never disappoint anyone or let others down in any way.

8. I should always be happy and upbeat and never show any negative feelings to others.

9. I should always try to please other people and make them happy.

10. I should try never to burden others with my own needs or wants.

You may need to replace "other people" with "my husband" or "my mother" or my "best friend" or "my children" to get a firm grasp on your true situation.

The book suggests writing opposing statements to train your brain to start changing the behavior. For example, "I should always do what my mother wants, expects or needs" could be rewritten to say "I know that I do not always have to do what my mother wants, expects or needs from me. I can choose to give when and if i want to do so."

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