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Freewill Reunion

Today is bittersweet for me. I don't use that word often, but today it is the most appropriate.

Bitter because I am not with my mom, family and friends in Minnesota. Bitter because I did not get to take an additional road trip with my mom. Bitter because my BFF's baby is moving in her belly and I will probably not get to ever rub her pregnant belly. I have refrained from thinking about the bitter parts of this change in summer plans because it means there are so many people I did not see, so many things I did not do...

But oh so sweet, because in like 24 hours, I will have a beautiful reunion with my husband in Honolulu. A honeymoon. A time of rest and relaxation. A renewal of the mind, body and spirit. A uniting of two to one. I haven't written much about his absence for two reasons: 1. I am absurdly blessed as a military wife (I never want to seem like a whiny brat) and 2. It was too painful to put into words.


He left June 14th aboard the Bonhomme Richard (LHD 6) from the 32nd street pier. My mom and I chased his boat around the San Diego Baby :)


His ship then was scheduled to be in Oceanside until the 17th.

Mom, Brytin and I drove up and down the coast Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday looking for his ship...

We finally saw it Wednesday as the skies cleared. I cried tears of joy! I hadn't spoken to him since Monday around 1300 and I was losing my mind. Even though the ship was about 7 miles out to sea, even though I couldn't see him or even know for sure if it was his ship, I felt instant relief.

Anyway, all that to say that tomorrow at 8:58, I will have Honolulu in my sights. By 9:15, I will be in my husband's arms for the first time in 17 days. I know that in comparison to many military couples, I am greatly blessed to only be separated from my spouse for 17 days. Unfortunately, that fact alone doesn't make it any easier to deal with the lonely moments, the little things that are missing in his absence, the inability to know exactly how his day went...We have never been separated this long in our four years together, and never ever ever went more than 12 hours without speaking (while he was sailing to Hawaii, there was no communication - June 14th to June 24th).

I am so thankful that God has blessed me with this amazing opportunity - to see my husband, to visit Hawaii, and a time of separation that brought us unfathomably closer together.

A friend (LB) made an interesting comment today...God never tells us what choice to make (Free Will), but He always lets us know when we are making the wrong choice.

My mind is too jumbled with travel details to bring those two points together...but there is a connection...Maybe just that despite our financial situation, God provided a way for me to travel to Hawaii? Despite all that Chris and I have been through, God found it necessary to (finally) convince my husband that I am worth more than rubies (Proverbs 31:10). Despite my "best laid plans," God had better plans in mind.

Two women and one dog. 5 days, four nites, 1590 miles. Ump-teen million pictures. One road trip I will cherish forever.

Wednesday

Having my mom here has been a HUGE blessing thus far (as I KNEW it would be).

Her flight arrived 10 minutes early on Wednesday June 9. YAY! More time with my mom!

I took her to see the view from Harbor Island. I pointed out Point Loma (Cabrillo National Park), Naval Air Station North Island, the Coronado Bridge and downtown.
We proceeded south on Harbor Drive. I pointed out the Embarcadero area with the Hornblowers, the cruise ships and the Star of India. I pointed out the Midway museum and described the Aircraft Memorial Park.

As we continued down Harbor Drive, I told her a little about Seaport Village and the Gaslamp District. I showed her the Convention Center where Comic-Con is held and bragged about the grassy knoll in Petco Park.

We drove south on Harbor Drive until we reached the end of the ships docked at the 32nd Street Naval Base.

As we were driving home on the 54 East, I saw a coyote running down the side of the road.

Then, as we rounded the curve left to the 125 North, I pointed out the untouchable Sweetwater Dam and my mountain and then we saw a brush fire burning on what I think is Dictionary Hill. As we got closer to our exit, she excitedly proclaimed, “Oh! There’s your street!”

Once we got onto Jamacha Boulevard, we could see and hear the helicopters travelling to the Reservoir, picking up buckets of water and then dropping them on the fire.
I had previously told my mom that Brytin and I spent time Tuesday afternoon decorating the front of the house with American flags. First, because Brytin LOVES American flags, second because I wanted my house cute and welcoming for my momma and third because my husband is going out to sea very soon and I want to support him in his mission.

As we neared Space 116, my mom says, “Oh! Look at how nicely they decorated their house!” And then I pulled into the carport. In total shock she says, “Oh! This is YOUR house!” We both got a pretty good laugh out of that!

I showed her around the yard. My husband has done such a WONDERFUL job making our yard a place I truly love to be. It was a pleasure to share it with my mother.

Then, I had to get started inputting bullying surveys for Loma. I had approximately 30 that needed to be completed in an hour.

With a very slim margin, Mom and I were able to get them done :)

We then raced to the school to pick up Brytin. I was so excited for my mom and my son to finally meet!!

We had to go to the grocery store to pick up a few items for my infamous ham glaze. Mom, of course, had a wonderful time spoiling Brytin with treats – ice cream, bologna, Skittles and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. She spoiled me a little too
:)

Then we went home to start cooking. And cook we did! I made the ham and Mom made her infamous tuna salad. We talked and laughed the whole time. Brytin watched Scooby-Doo and completed his homework and practiced his celebration songs and got to know my mom. He decided to call her Mrs. L.

Just as Brytin finished his homework, Chris came home. It’s always a fun moment between Brytin and I when we hear Betty roaring up the street. It’s a moment of happiness, excitement and genuine love for the number one man in our lives.

Mom paused her arduous task of making me a double batch of tuna salad so she could see Chris’s bike in person. Until James came rumbling up the road, I had completely forgotten it was Wednesday – Aces night. Mom, James, Chris and I hung out for about ten minutes before the guys blazed off for Santee. Mom admired Chris’s fender and his handgrips. She also liked the oil lines on James’ Rocker.

Mom and Brytin played some catch with a foam ball in his room. To which he responded, “I love it when you are here!” Mom convinced him to brush his teeth. And Brytin and I showed off our art work.

Around 9, I brought his mattress out to the living room so he could lie on the floor, next to mom on the couch, and we could all watch Scooby-Doo together. Brytin, of course, insisted that she sit on the floor next to him so he could snuggle up next to her. I then started boiling potatoes for mashed potatoes.

Around 10:30, Chris and James returned. I hadn’t received a warning that they were on their way, so I hadn’t completed the mashed potatoes, started boiling the corn on the cob or sliced the ham. Thankfully, the guys were patient while mom and I raced around the kitchen finishing up the meal we had prepared. It was delicious!

After all the dishes were in the kitchen, the guys talked about club business and mom and I collapsed on the couch. I turned on the TV for the first time all day and we were treated to “Dirty Dancing.”

It was an exhausting day, but one of the greatest days of 2010!

blah blah blah

I have so much to write about, but at the same time, I have nothing to write about. I try to write meaningful posts and I try to remember that this is not a personal diary.

I read an article about another marriage book. The article was an interview of the authors, and had something I wanted to share with you. Unfortunately my husband threw away the article. LMAO

I will be spending some time in Minnesota this summer because my husband is being sent out to sea for six weeks and my son is going to Missouri.

We got a puppy.

My mom will be here in seven days!!!

Finally! Some Good News!!!

Mom was able to eat chicken broth, Jello, applesauce and sherbet yesterday!!!!!!!

It was a long road to get here, but I am so thankful that God provided this miracle.

A lot has happened since I last provided any details in My Mother: An Update.

When they discovered the hole in her stomach, they decided not to sew it closed, because there was a chance they would sew in an infection. The doctors wanted her stomach to heal from the inside out. They had apparently put some gauze on it and forgot about it, and so by Sunday there was infection run amok in her abdomen...bastards.

They installed a zipper of sorts on her abdomen, and went in twice a day to basically shovel out the copious amounts of pus...(sorry, but I don't know how else to describe what's going on). Every time this happens (twice a day this entire past week), my mom has been in excruciating pain. Her parts are sore from all the surgeries and infections and the nurses are in there just moving organs around to clear out the pus. I wish I could be there to hold her hand.

Then on Thursday or Friday they installed some sort of 24-hr vacuum to do the pus-removal for them. Apparently it worked well, because Mom was able to eat liquid substance on Saturday :)

When I talked to her last night, she was in such a better mood. She had been getting pretty down in spirits with all the unknowns and complications and sheer boredom. But yesterday, she was actually cracking jokes!

I think she is having daily cat scans to monitor her insides...I can't imagine excessive radiation is good for her...Dad says he hopes that tomorrow he will get a better idea from the doctor just where exactly everything stands.

I've sent her a few things that she should receive next week. Hopefully the packages will help her fight off the boredom and loneliness and frustration.

Critical, but Stable

Mom is okay. She still needs your continued prayers.

She has an infection in her abdomen that they haven't been able to rid of. She is in critical condition still, but she remained stable another day. She's going to be fine, but the road to recovery is going to be long, painful, tiring, frustrating, and full of trial and error.

Please pray that she would be able to keep her spirits up while in the hospital.

For history, see these posts:
My Mother
My Mother: An Update

My Mother: An Update

Please read "My Mother" for previous information.

Okay, so here's where we think we are...

My mom's bile valve in her stomach is not operating correctly. The valve has been staying closed rather than opening and closing as needed. The back-up of stomach bile coupled with the fragile state of my mother's abdomen (previous ulcers, copious amts of scar tissue, gallstones, etc) led to hole(s) being created in her disgestive system. Because of my mother's overall condition (weakened immune system, rheumatoid arthritis, etc), the hole(s) have not been able to heal themselves (whereas someone without the other complications would probably heal quickly).

The two teams of doctors who are trying to fix my mother disagree about the best plan of action, so there is currently a temporary fix in place until they can concur.

The one thing they all agree on is that my mother CANNOT ingest anything orally until these holes heal. They think it will take approximately two months. So, yesterday, a feeding tube was inserted into my mother...

Thankfully, it is Christmastime, and I KNOW God would never ever ever let anything bad happen to my mother during her favorite time of year.

If you are the praying type, please please please pray that the hole(s) would heal miraculously fast. No one in their right mind can go two months without even drinking water...Yes, food bags have the nutrients our bodies need to survive, but that doesn't satisfy a person's desire to have food, drink, etc. Plus, while she cannot ingest anything orally, she cannot take some of her necessary arthritis medicines...

Also, my mother would really really really like to attend her granddaughter Josie's 5th birthday Princess Party next Friday. Please pray that this would be an option for her.

UPDATE 12:45 pm (PST)
Dad just called. The doctors decided not to do any operations for awhile. Mom is too fragile and they are concerned that they could potentially do more harm than good by operating again. They've got the temporary fix in the valve, she's got the feeding tube in, so now it's just wait and see...Praise God that she is currently stable.

My Mother

My mom is sick. She's fought with her health for about 20 years now. It started with carpal tunnel when I was in like fifth grade. Then she had a torn ligament in her knee which turned into rheumatoid arthritis. The pain pills for the arthritis ate her stomach, so she lost about 60 percent of it. My senior year in high school, she came down with A Plasta Anemia...That's a rough sketch of her history. Some of the details are foggy, some of the specifics are ignored, and some of the memories are just too horrible to remember.

My mom and I haven't always gotten along. There were about three years where I didn't even speak one word to her, but now, today, my mom and I are super close. She helps me with marriage stuff, with life stuff, with gardening, with decorating, with cooking, and with gossiping. I love talking to her on the phone for hours at a time. I wish I lived closer so I could just go hang out with her everyday (well, maybe every other day)...

Multiple times in my life, I have thought that my mom might die from whatever is ailing her at the moment, but it never hurt as bad as today. I spent all day decorating for Christmas. I spent all day thinking about my mom and how Christmas is her favorite time of year. I thought about all the gifts she has given, about the garland we used to hang at the house on 63rd, how her nickname Mallard came about, how my dad and I would always try real hard to get along at Christmas...And then at 4pm (PST) today, when I was all done decorating and just enjoying the dusky glow of twinkle lights wrapped around garland, my dad called.

My mom had to have emergency exploratory surgery, because her insides are infected and swollen. She had surgery a few weeks ago, because some gallstones had invaded her liver and were causing it to shut down. The doctor was able to get the stones out and took out her gallbladder also. She was left with a bile bag and a couple tubes.

My mom always has complications. When she had A Plasta Anemia, only my cousin Todd's plasma helped her (we attribute it to all the Hamm's he was drinking at the time). She is allergic to a thousand different things - including whatever they used to stitch her up in her last surgery. She's allergic to silver and 14k gold and a ton of medicines...

But I love her. And it's Christmas. And I believe in miracles.

UPDATE: 7 pm (PST)
My dad just called. Mom is out of surgery. It went okay, but apparently her bile bag wasn't working properly. There is bile floating around her body...not good. They are bringing in a specialist tomorrow for another surgery.

My dad was crying...if you knew my dad, you would be surprised. He's a biker, he's an asshole, he's rough and tough, he's long-haired and tattooed. But you know what? He adores my mother.

If ever there was a reason for me to love and appreciate my stepfather, it is because for thirty years, he has adored my mother. He hasn't always shown his adoration or been able to express his feelings, but I know he loves her. I've seen it. I've heard it. I've felt it. I don't know whether or not my mom knows it, but I know it.

I realized it in like '97 or '98...I was having trouble with a boyfriend, and my dad actually was the one who helped me. I don't recall anymore what he said, but I remember that my reaction was, "Wow, you really LOVE my mom. I never realized that before." Truthfully, he would be lost without her - especially at Christmastime.

UPDATE: 8 pm (PST)
My aunt Mary Joe called (my dad's sister) to try to better explain the situation, and reassure me that everything would be fine. Gotta love MJ :)

The doctor said that when he opened mom up tonight, there was infection all over. The intent of the surgery was to try to clean up (at least some) of the infection, and hopefully be able to pinpoint the cause. None of that happened. The doctor said they are "unable to pinpoint the cause at this time." Bastard.

He explained that there are a lot of possible scenarios:
1. The bile filled up her stomach and leaked out the spot where she previously had the bleeding ulcer.
2. When they operated her on previously, they nicked something and so she was bleeding internally.
3. The allergic reaction she had to the "small amount of metal" in the sutures has gotten out of control.

Either way, the doc said they have to bring in a specialist and operate on her tomorrow. Unfortunately, that is a huge concern. She just had TWO surgeries the end of October, and another one tonight. Three surgeries in one month on a frail woman is NOT a good idea! (And I guess the doctor was saying that it might take two or three surgeries to actually fix her...) One of the reasons it took two surgeries to clean up her kidney and liver is because the ulcer/stomach surgery created so much scar tissue. Aren't they just creating MORE scar tissue every time they open her up? Plus, they were saying that her blood pressure is extremely low.

If the problem is an infection, why can't they treat it without surgery? White blood cells fight infection - can't they just inject her with hundreds of thousands of the little buggers to go in and clean up? (Like those fish that suck on the aquarium glass constantly...) Can't they pump her full of antibiotics?

Surely, the miracles of modern medicine have got to have a way to help my mother.

I cannot believe this is happening the FIRST time I ever got jazzed about Christmas since moving out of my parents house...Do you think God is trying to tell me that I should be focusing more on the Savior than Santa?

UPDATE: 9 pm (PST)
I can rest easy tonight. I got to talk to my mommy :) Thank you, Lord!!