Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Communication With the Dead?

I haven't thought much about communication with the afterlife, honestly. But I had something happen to me last night that really makes me wonder.

My husband is working overnights this week,so I have been staying up far too late into the wee hours playing Farmville, writing, reading, watching television,etc.

Last night, around 3 am or so, I was farming and I was trying to finish up my notes on John 4. I think I kept falling asleep at the computer, though. Farmville has been running very slow this week, so it isn't too far-fetched to think I might doze off while waiting for something to load.

At some point, I realized I was sleeping and went and laid down on the couch. (I don't sleep in my bed without my husband.)

So this morning, around 8ish, my husband wakes me and we chit-chat until he falls asleep. I go sit at the computer to enjoy a cup of coffee and play some Farmville. I look at my notebook to see where I left off with John 4, and the last thing written is:

"Rudy didn't get a chance to say goodbye and he holds a lot of animosity for that."

What the???

So I reread some of the other notes on the page to see if they are all weird, and nope, they are legitimate notes from my study of John 4.

In case you didn't know, there is no mention of a "Rudy" in the Bible; especially not in John 4.

I actually know a gentleman named Rudy who has passed on, and we DIDN'T get to say good-bye. Would he really have animosity? I don't think so, but 80+ year-old men are funny like that...

It seems to me that I received a message in my sleeping stupor and wrote it down.

A few more things to note:
1. I do not at all remember writing this note.
2.The writing is in my exact penmanship - not sloppy from being written by a sleeping person.
3. I was watching the Cosby show around 1:30 am, and Rudy was the focus of the episode, so maybe it was just some weird combination of sleep, Bible study, and the Cosby show?

Like I said, I haven't thought much about communication with the dead, so any thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Bible Truly is an Amazing Book

Thanks to an old friend, I recently started studying the book of John again (see Broussard's Bible Blog). Part of that study, requires me to go through some very old notebooks that I wrote notes in while studying. I received a HUGE blessing this weekend as I read an old entry...

For so many years, I refused Your Masterhood, but now I rejoice in it. I couldn't deal with Your perfection, but now Your perfection brings me pure joy. Your love is unconditional, Your judgment is justice and your salvation is free. "Your judgment is justice," though it may seem crazy, that is my favorite part about You. You will not plea bargain. I know that the verdict in my case is the only thing in this world that is fair, unbiased. I can hold onto that with my dear life! I can take that to the bank! I can bet my bottom dollar! Lord, I know most people do not get so excited over judgment, but I just feel like your fairness is something I can depend on in a world that is truly unfair.

I've been told many times throughout my decade as a Christian that the Bible is a "magical" book that always applies to my life. Even if I reread the same passage, on two different days, the passage will somehow apply.

The above excerpt was written over seven years ago. I actually remember the circumstances surrounding that particular joy I was feeling that day.

And yet, today, seven years later, the same principle applies, but in an entirely different manner. I can once again rejoice in God's fair judgment. I can once again take solace in the perfection of God, and chose to allow HIM to provide due punishment. I can wash my hands of the worry and fret and stress that I have suffered the last year for another's crime and bank on God having the final say. PTL for His great and mighty blessings.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Farmville, Anyone?

I took a break from blogging (obviously). I’ve missed it greatly; writing is very therapeutic, enlightening and gratifying for me. I had to take a break, though, because the issues I have had in 2010 are not my own to write about…It’s one thing for me to air my dirty laundry all over the World Wide Web, but it would be disrespectful for me to publish my feelings regarding other people’s issues…

January was tough for Chris and me. Just a cyclic relationship-growing period, I think. Nothing was wrong, but nothing was right. I think that the high of December created an equal but opposite low January. Thankfully, we pulled out of the funk.

February was tough for me. There were a lot of “anniversaries” of negative things in February that just made the month a difficult one for me. With the help of my caring mother, my wise friends, my awesome husband and my oh-so-amazing therapist, I came out of that silly little month with an excellent attitude, and March came in like a sweet innocent fluffy little lamb.

Of course, as it always does, March has reared its ugly lion head and once again life is stressful. Anyone who is friends with me on Facebook has seen that over the past couple months I have become EXCESSIVELY addicted to a fun game called Farmville. Do you know why I play that game non-stop? I have a few theories.

Theory #1:
Because the trying circumstances that surround me are uncontrollable by me, my “fixing” energy is spent making one hell of an amazing farm.

Theory #2:
No matter how I approach the trying circumstances that surround me, I am often painted as the “bad guy.” However, in Farmville, I am a VERY successful, multi-million dollar farmer. Therefore, living in this alternate reality allows me to feel successful even though some may see me as a total waste of space.

Theory #3:
Because I am such an awesome individual – giving, caring, selfless, intelligent, compassionate, etc etc etc, I subconsciously feel entitled to do whatever in the hell I want. My family still eats, my stepson still makes it to school, my friends still know I love them, and the kindergarten class at Loma Elementary still get all their worksheets, so who cares if I spend hours every day farming a make-believe land of 10,000 chickens?

Theory #4:
I am still that pathetic poser I was in high school that longs to be liked and so when I felt pressured by my friend to play, I caved.

So, you ask, what is the point of these theories? Will I stop playing once I figure out WHY I play? Probably not. But it does help me understand why every time I feel even slightly stressed I start thinking about what seeds I want to plant next.