Remember my word of the year? (Hint: starts with a "G," rhymes with "race." LOL)
Well let me tell you - today, that grace has led to a feeling of liberation!
I set the goal of a book a week, and I had a plan for January (for at least the first three books).
Today, however, I returned two of them to the library. (GASP!) Why? Because I don't WANT to read them!
"Mindful Motherhood" had an amazing introduction that talked all about being a zen-like mommy - calm, cool, collected and present (or mindful). The introduction roped me in.
"When you get more comfortable with the fact that everything is always changing, you begin to pay more attention to riding the waves of life rather than struggling against or trying to control them."
I NEEDED to be that kind of momma for Baby B.
I finished reading "What Mothers Do," on Jan 15 and immediately began "Mindful Motherhood."
Interestingly, mindfulness (aka Zen) book brings much anxiety and negative thought about motherhood compared to "What Mothers Do."
When reading Naomi's book, I felt capable, understood, almost revered for the challenges I am about to face. Mindfulness book, thus far, recounts extremely negative situations and then tells you to accept them as they are. (I.E. a screaming baby in a grocery store, a screaming baby on an airplane, or a screaming baby at home.)
I know that those situations exist, and I know that I will have to face them, but the author just didn't present them in a way that made me believe I could handle them in a calm, cool or collected manner. So I ditched the book halfway through.
The second book I was liberated from in this year of grace, was "No One's the Bitch." Like I said previously, I was initially excited to read it, because I felt like it would help me develop a better attitude about the mother of my stepson and hopefully encourage me to extend an olive branch...
However, throughout the introduction, I kept thinking to myself, "I really don't care." My stepson is well taken care of by his three parents, regardless of the fact that his mommy and stepmom have barely exchanged three sentences in a year and a half. Sure, the situation could be better, but it doesn't have to be, and I am not interested at this stage of my life to put forth any effort to change it. So, I returned the book.