I gotta get this out, and I don't know how else to do it but write...Sorry if I am posting something I shouldn't, but seriously, rumors are for junior high.
So the minute I got here, some guy was talking smack about quite a few individuals shacking up together. As a civilian wife, I like to pretend like hook ups don't happen. Why? Cuz you wanna believe your husband would never, but there's always the possibility that he is just a really good liar and has friends who are really good at keeping secrets...
Anyway, so my husband introduces me to this girl that he sometimes chats with at work. He thought we'd be a good personality match, and he was right. From go, I thought she was cool people.
Unfortunately, she was one of the individuals that guy was saying was doing the nasty with someone other than her husband...I'm SO not cool with that.
As time progressed, I mentioned to her that there were rumors and she refuted them. Then finally, I got the skinny from old buddy as to why exactly he put her in that category. As it turns out, he heard it from someone else and just took it as fact. I definitely don't play like that. I need to know the TRUTH. (Except with celebrity gossip, of course - I just make up my own truth.)
So, I give her the skinny. As it turns out, the skinny is totally thin. The dude knew the rumor was gonna fall flat on its face, so he put the blame on somebody else. My friend, of course, being similar to me, confronts this someone else and in turn starts a whole shit storm of drama...
I get called to the plate and tell it straight. Old dude said this. I said this. Why? Not to start drama, but to squash it. Either way, I'm looked at by some as the bad guy and some as the savior.
I personally think I did the right thing. If someone is spreading rumors about me, I want to know. If I hear rumors that don't quite jive with the personality I know, I want to understand. If someone who my husband considers a friend doesn't take a marriage vow seriously, I have the right to know.
Here's how I see it - don't start rumors. Know who you are talking to. Watch what you talk about. If you want to know the truth, ask. If you don't want rumors to be started about you, then conduct yourself in a manner becoming a woman. Don't put yourself in situation where anyone can conjecture bullshit - ESPECIALLY if you work in a command that is known for hook ups...Simple, right?