Thursday, July 16, 2009

Wednesday April 9, 2008

Current mood: lonely
Respect. It’s an interesting notion. Is it earned? Or is it only lost? Each person has such a different view of respect. How does God expect human beings to ever get along without agreeing on this one tantamount issue?
Truth is, respect in and of itself, is not a big issue to me. Kindness is more important to me. Maybe the two are one and the same. Or maybe it takes all the fruit of the Spirit to be respectful.
In my opinion, my only enemies are myself and the devil. Everyone else gets at least the courtesy of being human. Now, I will be the first to admit that there are humans whom I have a difficult time being courteous to, but I do at least try.
I’ve learned some pretty difficult lessons in 2008. I don’t desire to go into details, but at the same time, I hope I never forget them so that I never have a quarter like the one I’ve just lived through. People that I have loved and trusted and cared for have all but slapped me in the face - some of them repeatedly. I think I may have even gotten kicked in the teeth for the first time since Birthday Week 2005. Thankfully, God has revealed to me my own part in creating the chaos that is and was. There are definitely some things about myself I need to change to avoid any future recurrences of said drama.
Phillipians 4:29 says "Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." I pray that God would put a guard over my mouth so that I will not say what I should not.
I know that between humans, conflict is normal. Any two people who have regular encounters will eventually have conflict. I do not set out to irritate or offend; it just happens because I am human. An excerpt from an email I received says "Accepting conflicts as a fact of life helps us deal with it better. And it’s important to remember that conflicts are not destructive in themselves. It’s the way we handle them that determines how destructive they may become."
The best outcome I can hope for in any conflict is that I would look at my faults -listen to others’ opinions that reveal my failures and weaknesses. I have no desire to focus on the speck in my brother’s eye when mine has a log in it. One of the greatest "A-ha!" moments in the Bible for me is when Jesus says, "Let him without sin cast the first stone." And then he forgives the sinner. He was the only one in the crowd who could have thrown a stone at the sinner, but instead He showed her mercy. I try so hard to be like that - not that I have the authority to forgive sin, but to be graceful about it. There is no reason for me to point out someone else’s indiscretions when I commit plenty to soak up my attention.
I pray that I could continue on this path of enlightenment...Though it has been emotionally draining to learn all the things I have learned in the last couple years, I know that I am a much better wife, friend and follower of Christ.

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